Getting a divorce doesn’t necessarily mean you stop caring about your former spouse.
Codie LaChelle McPhate learned that important lesson about her own parents when she spotted her dad mowing her mom’s lawn, despite being divorced 28 years ago.
Both parents have since remarried and McPhate, 32, realizes just how lucky she is to have 4 loving parents who epitomize care and respect.
“I’m very fortunate to have such amazing parents. I know my moms and dads would do anything for each other, because we’re family. I’m very fortunate to have such amazing parents.”
While divorce can be one of the most stressful and emotional experiences a person can go through – unleashing anger, grief, and anxiety – some are lucky enough to come out the other side with a civil relationship with their ex (of course, this is not possible for everyone!).
Still, mowing your ex’s lawn is going above and beyond. It takes a kind heart. 28 years of space and time during which each moved on with their lives and started a new family probably helps too!
In a post on Facebook, which then appeared on Love What Matters, McPhate explained that her mom has bad knees and her stepfather works out of town. When her younger stepsiblings asked her why her dad was out there mowing the lawn, she explained:
“Because, she needed help, and he knew she couldn’t get out here to do it, so he did.”
Simple as that.
To top it off, McPhate’s father did the good deed on his vacation. He no longer lives near his ex-wife but was traveling to the area with his daughter when he reached out to help.
Despite garnering lots of attention for his act, his daughter added to her post, saying he did it simply because it was the right thing to do.
“He wants everyone to know, ‘I’m no saint.’ He just wants to show others that you don’t need to act like an angelic pastor on lent, but that we should all choose kindness whenever we can.”
We also love McPhate’s stepfather commenting from afar on her post:
McPhate’s parents made a conscious decision during their divorce to remain civil and treat each other with respect and compassion for the sake of their children. The daughter explained that they recognized that “if they were going to raise their children to be good, kind people, they needed to be good kind people.”
Another interesting part of the story is that McPhate told the website Scary Mommy that her parents have always presented such a united front that she doesn’t even know the reasons behind their divorce. That’s rare, but it makes you think about how important it really is for kids to know the sordid details of their parents’ lives.
“They’ve never let on that their relationship was bad or good. Its always been ‘We’re a family and that’s all you need to know. To this day, I don’t even know why my parents got divorced. My mom always said, ‘It’s none of your business, it wasn’t your marriage, it was mine.’”
So true. And it prevents kids from feeling like they have to take sides.
McPhate concluded her post by saying “This is co-parenting.”
She acknowledged just how lucky she was to have parents and stepparents who all respect each other and who put their children first – even when they’re all grown up and have their own children (as McPhate now does).
It’s a great lesson, as she says, in “how to treat people, and how to love your family, no matter how it came together.”
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Source: Love What Matters